pussy so german expressionistic it got me walking down this black and white spiral staircase into a matte painting of an oddly jagged cityscape while i hunch over dressed in dance tights
what farming items in mmorpgs has taught me: i used to think using ice trays to make ice cubes was free but after thinking about it i have to pay the electric bill to power the freezer so every moment that i’m not freezing new trays of ice cubes is a moment that i’m underutilizing the freezer and increasing the cost of ice cubes. i have to constantly swap out ice trays for new ice cubes on an hourly rotation on a 24 hour basis or else i won’t produce the maximum amount of ice cubes possible and will underutilize the full potential of my electric bill. i need to stop using all other appliances and utilities in my home to make more ice cubes
*walks up to a gay couple* so which of you is the inexperienced imperial accountant who can’t admit her desires and which of you is the more experienced northern duchess, at home in the snowy woods of her fief more so than the streets of the capital?
PERCEPTION: Kim is kissing you! EMPATHY [Hard: Failure] - Seems like he’s wanted to for a while, for some reason? LOGIC: You’re enjoying this ‘kissing Kim, who is a man’ thing. ELECTROCHEMISTRY: You’re enjoying it A LOT, bucko! LOGIC: You must be a member of the homo-sexual underground. LOGIC: But–wait. Something doesn’t add up. You still like women. ENCYCLOPEDIA [Easy: Failure] - This is unprecedented. A homo-sexual who likes kissing women? COMPOSURE [Godly: Failure] - Holy shit. You are going to get a terrible score in homo-sexuality. DRAMA: You are the world’s worst homo-sexual.
KIM KITSURAGI: … Detective? Are you okay?
1. [Composure - Challenging 17] Keep it together. It’s fine if you’re bad at homo-sexuality. You’re new at it. 2. Have a panic attack.
which other tv show will ever be able to pull off a love square like hannibal. like, will and alana had a fling, but alana broke it off because will was too mentally unstable. alana and hannibal dated, but that fell apart once it was revealed that hannibal is a cannibalistic serial killer. margot was one of hannibal’s patients. margot is a lesbian, but she slept with will one (1) time in order to get pregnant. margot had their baby forcibly removed by her brother and placed inside of a pig, which she then had to deliver as a stillborn with the help of alana, whom she was by then sleeping with and would later marry. they also procured margot’s brother’s sperm, with the help of hannibal, before brutally murdering him, which alana was then fertilized with, meaning that margot is both technically her son’s mother and aunt.
and during all of this, will and hannibal had a weird psychosexual obsession with each other, culminating in a homoerotic bloodbath before they were baptized by the atlantic. truly, which other tv show could ever.
ALT
